Katie Jolly - Jolly Mediation - Family Mediator

Sorting out family arrangements without going through court

Katie Jolly is an accredited family mediator based in Hertfordshire. She is here to help if your relationship has broken down but you still need to sort out practical issues such as:

  • Where children are going to live and access
  • Sorting out maintenance
  • Arranging family finances
  • Dealing with any debts

Email Katie to arrange an informal chat...

Family Mediation - The Basics

You may have been contacted by a mediator - or your spouse, partner or ex-partner may have asked you to try mediation. It’s important you both understand what mediation is and how it could help your situation. Below are some of the basics to help you understand what mediation is, and how it works.

What is family mediation?

If you are separating or divorcing, family mediation helps you sort out issues – without involving big legal fees or going through a long drawn-out court battle. Professional family mediators help you work out what happens after you split up.

They won’t try to get you and your ex-partner back together. They can also help when you’ve been separated a while and need to sort something out. A mediator will listen to you and your ex-partner explain your concerns and views to each other and will help you both to reach an agreement.

Mediation works by helping people find practical solutions that feel fair. Some people who can’t afford mediation can get it for free through the ‘Legal Aid’ scheme.

(If you are eligible for legal aid, you may be able to get the cost of mediation funded. You can check eligibility here. (Note: to access the calculator you will need to select the ‘yes’ option when it asks if mediation has started otherwise it will redirect you to a mediator search engine). Alternatively you can contact National Family Mediation who will also be able to assess you)

What are the benefits of family mediation?
  • Family Mediation gives you more say about what happens. In court a judge will make the decisions. With mediation you and the other party make the decisions.
  • Family Mediation is less stressful, with less conflict between you and your partner. If you have children it is less upsetting for them. It can help find ways for everyone involved to get on better in the future.
  • Family Mediation improves communication and helps you sort out your future.
  • All agreements can be reviewed and changed if you both agree – for example, your children getting older may mean their needs change.
  • It is much easier for children when parents co-operate and helps them continue important family relationships.
  • Family Mediation is quicker, cheaper and provides a better way to sort out disagreements than long drawn-out court battles – helping you all to get on with the rest of your lives as quickly as possible.

What do family mediators do?

Family Mediators are trained to work with people whose relationships have broken down. They come from professional backgrounds, such as law and healthcare. Mediators find solutions that both of you can agree on. A mediator will ask questions to understand your situation. Unlike going to court, you stay in control. No-one can make you do anything against your wishes. Discussions are confidential.

Children have the right to a relationship with both parents (as long as it is safe) and their needs are most important. Katie is trained to include children in discussions but only if you, your ex-partner and the child agree.

The first meeting or Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM)

The first step is to attend a meeting with the mediator so you can find out more about mediation and if it’s right for you. This is generally called a ‘Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting’ (MIAM) or ‘first meeting’. You can go with your ex-partner, or you can see the mediator separately if you prefer. The mediator is also trained to help you find other help and support services if you need them.

When should I go to a MIAM?

Mediation is often most effective when it takes place at an early stage, before the issues become big problems. It’s best to contact a mediator as soon as you and your ex-partner have come to terms with the separation and need help sorting out arrangements.

If you’ve been invited to a MIAM, you’re expected to go - unless you’re exempt. If you don’t attend, the mediator can sign a document allowing the other party to apply for a court order about your child arrangements.

You don’t need to see a solicitor first but if you do they should tell you about mediation. Even if you’ve been separated for a while or if your case has already gone to court, mediation can help to resolve any issues you may still have. The Law says that you must consider whether mediation can help you before you can take a case to court. This means you need to go to a MIAM unless special circumstances apply, like if your situation involves domestic violence or abuse.

See also this short film ‘What is family mediation’ from the Family Mediation Council: www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/

Child Inclusive Mediation

Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) provides opportunities for children and young people to have their voices heard directly during the process of mediation, to help them feel respected and listened to and, at their request, to assist parents or carers to receive, understand and take account of the child's messages regarding decisions and arrangements for the child to be made by their parents.

Jolly Mediation offers Child Inclusive Mediation with a fully-qualified CIM accredited mediator and will be discussed at your MIAM.

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Online Mediation

We are able to facilitate MIAMs, joint and shuttle mediation virtually by WhatsApp video and FaceTime (MIAMs) or Zoom (joint/shuttle mediation).

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